I cry a lot.  I cry at commercials, at every cheesy tv show and movie, when I read books and blogs, even magazines.  I also cry every time I am in a conversation that I am passionate about.  This means every time my husband and I have real conversations about how we are feeling, or our hurts, or frustrations – I cry.  I cry at work – almost every time my boss asks me how I am doing or when I try to express how passionate about my job I am – but how hard it is to sacrifice family time to do my job.  And the thing is I hate that I cry.  It makes me feel weak, like a young girl, unable to control her emotions.  Or I think it makes me sound needy – like I am going to cry to get what I want.  I don’t like the perception of me when I cry.  

A good friend recently told me – she loved when I cried because it showed my love and passion for people and things.  So I am trying to own it.  But do you know how hard it is to talk and feel confident and own it – when you can’t get through a sentence because you are crying so much?

So I am challenging myself to feel confident even when I cry!  To know that God gave me my particular mix of emotions so I can do empathy well.  So that I can be in relationship with people in good and hard times.  My emotions mean I have a tender heart and can see the Holy Spirit moving in others and myself.  And that my tears are something to be proud of, not annoyed by.  

I want to show my daughter that women can be tough, confident, they can speak up for themselves and for others and that my tears don’t negate my worth – they add to it!

(for a prime example of just how teary I am – take a look at Kristen Bell in this clip – it about sums it up.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5jw3T3Jy70)  Btw and in full disclosure I cried watching this clip…